There is enormous amount of information we get offered in addition to the content when we talk. And I don´t even mean the big world of body language. The mere choice of words offers plenty for us.
For example, if someone opened a Christmas party with the words “I am delighted that once again we were able to create a joint Christmas party this year and we have spared no expense to make it a successful evening.”
What do you notice?
Keywords might be (depending on emphasis): joint, create, expense and successful.
Let’s take the word “successful”: Alternatively s/he could also have chosen “joyful” or “beautiful” evening. His/her orientation obviously applied to success also on this evening.
How about focussing in your next conversation on
– What are the key words that the other uses: Which word is the most significant?
– What alternative terms s/he could have used and what does that choice of words say about him/her.
How can you use this additional information?