no damn

A common attitude in conflicts is: “I do not care whether the other person has a problem with it.” So we try to make ourselves independent and to protect ourselves thereby. But what we actually mainly get is a greater distance to the other and to what our heart really wants. It needs much courage , especially in a threatening situation, to admit to ourselves what our heart really wants.
Do you manage to allow this softness to yourself?
How could you express your heart’s desire and your need for protection as equally valid?
How would your conflict partner react if s/he would hear it?