In many encounters the special way of how we talk about the content sticks to a certain pattern, a pattern that is hidden in us and provides help for protection, holding, inner silence or inner peace. These reputed success patterns of our personality are almost a kind of game, which we include our discussion partner in, and we repeat it on and on. Discovering this on yourself could make you wonder, why it hasn´t got boring so far. But the need for shelter, holding, silence and peace is still unsatisfied – it will not get satisfied by this, only temporarily pleased. Who wants to get independent of this and experience in their contacts real encounters rather than old games, could – with the support of a coach – discover and terminate their games.
Here are a few examples of these games and communication patterns:
– I explain something to you and you consider me as bright.
– I explain something very specific in a self-evident tone and gain a power advantage by your inner “oh, I didn´t know that”.
– I show you my weakness and you generate compassion, which makes you protect me rather than fight me.
– I show you as little as possible about me, thus you cannot attack me.
– I praise you, thus you meet me with courtesy.
– I give you, what you need, thus I get from you, what I need.
– I show you how perfect I am, thus you give me the total okay.
– I show you how successful I am, thus you admire me and like me.
– I pay attention, thus you cannot harm me.
– I show you that I have no fear, thus you cannot victimize me.
There are endless numbers of these games.
What could the game be about, that takes place in many of your encounters?
And what would happen, if you are deliberately not playing it?