Clients report in coaching often about having a problem with their boss, colleague, employee or partner, who is not responding the way they want him or her to respond. And they interpret this as an expression of the others will rather than as an effect of the type of question they have asked. Quiet often it is not even a question but a statement they have expressed, e.g. “You should change something about it.” This leads to a response like “Why (me)?” or “I don´t think so.” But also questions often lead to the wrong direction, e.g. “Why don´t you change anything about it?” – this question makes the other justify and reason the state, which we actually don´t want any longer, and even consolidate it.
The question should be formulated in way that makes the other really think towards the direction, we are heading for, e.g. “How could you change something about it in order to…?”
And what kind of questions do you raise?