emotional facts

Many try to resolve a conflict by refering to the “facts”, the outside situation. But this allegedly clear and allegedly safe way cannot lead to a solution, because the core of a conflict is emotions, otherwise it would just be a factual dispute or quarrel. In conflicts we need to look directly at the emotions: What is fact here? If the other or I get angry, disappointed, pissed, etc., it can also be viewed as fact and by that paying the proper respect to the emotion. Although emotions usually contain an own personal story, which only got triggered by the conflict partner but not caused by him/her, we can respect them, e.g. by saying: “Okay, the fact is: You’re mad and I am in despair. How can we best deal with it? ”

What would such a sentence be like in your case of conflict?
What are the emotional facts in your case?