Since we know about ourselves, that we are basically appreciative, it´s supposedly always the other who does not act appreciatively. We feel entitled to not be appreciative to this person, because we have experienced a certain behavior of them as hurtful or otherwise negatively.
This cause-effect-thinking prevents us from having contact to our freedom and therefore our responsibility for appreciation.
We do not need to call the behavior “good” in order to stay in appreciation. No one prevents us from assuming that the other
– could not have meant it this way
– himself feels insecure and seeks for a quick or convenient solution
– basically is a good person.
Unreflected we believe that – with this approach – we lose our interests and our dignity. However, those who experience it by someone else, feel the greatness and dignity that goes with it, and the constructive effect.
Before you plan it for the next time with moral ambition, it’s worth to look behind your own scenes with understanding:
What do you fear – in a felt sense – to lose if you remain in appreciation?
What would have to happen for you before you go in this greatness?