When we do our best in a conversation that something doesn´t across wrongly, that the other does not think that I … ,when we try to not bother the other with our emotions, when we think we can not say as something as clearly as it really is for us, what do we assume about the other? That he or she understands it not correctly? That he or she immediately thinks that …? That he or she cannot deal with our emotions in the situation? That he or she cannot handle our truth?
Do we really think that about the other person? Do we really think that he or she would not have grown up and be capable enough for that? In which (child’s) age do we put him or her? Which responsibility do we take over from him or her?
If you know this “sparing” behavior in your own interactions, I suggest you watch what happens when you trust the other adult to handle what he or she is facing: How does this change the contact and the dignity in the conversation?
And if something comes differently than you meant it, what prevents you to trust yourself that you are an adult and capable enough to clarify it?