We can choose three different levels for our response to conflicts: the first level is the level of actions. It includes who has done what, when and how it was said or done, and leads to dogmatism and dispute about details. It starts by the assumption that there is a “right” but only leads to judgement. The second level is that of emotions. It includes what feelings arise and what emotions, i.e. old “buttons”, are triggered by the conflict. The focus on this level provides an understanding of and compassion for the own situation and also for the other´s – if one refrains from entering the level of actions. The third level is the level of being. It includes a clear differentiation between own issues in the conflict and those of the other one. This clear distinction is an inner knowing that doesn´t need anything from the conflict partner, but is able to allow it/him/her (in his/her way) and can let go of any entanglement.
At what level do you respond to conflicts?
What would your conflict look like if you look at it from the level of being?